无奈。。

我们的故事。。

现实的残酷。。

除了无奈。。 还是无奈。。

还是很想念你！！ 很想念， 很想念的说。。

25/10/2011

All im asking from u is just appreciation, as simple as that..

but what i get in return is ignorance.. and its always been like that all the while..

and when i got mad and show my madness to u, its even worse, instead of  building up our relationship, it build up distance between us..  now that u are so close but ur heart seem so far apart..

i dun even have the right to control my feelings and get mad.. what the hell are all these? how pathetic is that for i cant even show my anger or dissatisfaction to u when i think it should not be a "no" for showing it

alright i guess its time to accept the fact that u are not that into me.. not anymore.. what should i do? call it a quit? but im afraid that i would be the one who regret for it if i do it..

keep things going as if nothing happens? im not sure how long can i still bear it with u.. the question is, why should i even take all these from u..

Depressed...

Its been 4days, freaking 4days!!!!!

maybe u were making some decision, i dont know.. i hope not..

though deep down inside i know what happens and have been mentally prepared for quite a while..

i just wish things turn out to be fine when i see u soon..

and yes we really need to meet up and talk.. at least have a talk first...

i miss u.. every day and night <3

Hope!

Opportunity knock your door only ONCE, 

 if you're serious about changing your life for the BETTER,

you'll not have the fear to GRAB IT!

Appreciate second chances,

because once you lose it, 

you'll never get back what you let go! 

stupidness!

since there is no one cares, why the fuck must u torture urself and suffered alone till gastric??? silly silly u go eat something!! very good the result of lazy to drive out ta pao, u can only eat junkies now. FML 

*ignore me ppl, just talking to myself*

( ' @ ' )

努力争取，成败随缘。。

真的做得到吗？

其实自己知道，

所要求的从来都不止这样。。 

是累了吗？

是吧，是累了吧。。

或许是时候该休息了。。

17/9/2011

 这特别的星期六，

我特别忧郁，

选择暂时离开现实，

安静地度过这一天。。

刚刚听到你的声音，好想现在可以抱着你。。

唉，全世界好像只剩下自己一个人。。 :'(    

Blessing ^^

I can feel that our love are growing, it really does! Both of us are enjoying with the blessed of love.. and just so u know the feeling of knowing that ur love one is feeling the same way as u do is really great! <3

a small lil' gift for darling! n he loves it! XD

什么是 真正的爱情 呢？

          有一天，分享问上帝：什么是爱情？

上帝说：
我请你穿越这片稻田，去摘一株最大最金黄的麦穗回来，
但是有个规则：你不能走回头路，而且你只能摘一次。
於是分享去做了。

许久之后，他却空著双手回来了..
上帝问他怎么空手回来了？

分享说：
当我走在田间的时候，曾看到过几株特别大特别灿烂的麦穗，
可是，我总想著前面也许会有更大更好的，於是就没有摘；
但是，我继续走的时候，看到的麦穗，总觉得还不如先前看到的好，
所以我最后什么都没有摘到..

上帝意味深长地说：这，就是爱情。

又一天，分享问上帝：什么是婚姻？

上帝说：
我请你穿越这片树林，去砍一棵最粗最结实的树回来好放在屋子里做圣诞树，
但是有个规则：你不能走回头路，而且你只能砍一次。
於是分享去做了。

许久之后，
他带了一棵并不算最高大粗壮却也不算赖的树回来了..
上帝问他怎么只砍了这样一棵树回来？

分享说：
当我穿越树林的时候，看到过几棵非常好的树，
这次，我吸取了上次摘麦穗的教训，看到这棵树还不错，就选它了，
我怕我不选它，就又会错过了砍树的机会而空手而归，
尽管它并不是我碰见的最棒的一棵。

这时，上帝意味深长地说：这，就是婚姻。

还有一次，分享问上帝：什么是幸福？

上帝说：
我请你穿越这片田野，去摘一朵最美丽的花，
但是有个规则：你不能走回头路，而且你只能摘一次。
於是分享去做了。

许久之后，他捧著一朵比较美丽的花回来了..
上帝问他：这就是最美丽的花了？

分享说：
当我穿越田野的时候，我看到了这朵美丽的花，
我就摘下了它，并认定了它是最美丽的，
而且，当我后来又看见很多很美丽的花的时候，
我依然坚持著我这朵最美的信念而不再动摇。所以我把最美丽的花摘来了。

这时，上帝意味深长地说：这，就是幸福。

分享又有一天又问上帝：什么是外遇

上帝还是叫他到树林走一次，
可以来回走，
在途中要取一支最好看的花。
分享又充满信心地出去。

两个小时之后，他精神抖擞地带回了一支顏色艷丽但稍稍焉掉的花..
上帝问他：“这就是最好的花吗？”

分享回答上帝：
“我找了两小时，发觉这是最盛开最美丽的花，
但我采下带回来的路上，它就逐渐枯萎下来”

这时，上帝告诉他：“那就是外遇”

又有一天又问上帝：什么是生活

上帝还是叫他到树林走一次，
可以来回走，
在途中要取一支最好看的花。
分享有了以前的教训，
又充满信心地出去。

过了三天三夜，他也没有回来..
上帝只好走进树林里去找他，最后发现分享已在树林里安营扎寨..

上帝问他：“你找著最好看的花么？”
分享指著边上的一朵花说：“这就是最好看的花吗。”
上帝问：“为什么不把它带出去呢？”

分享回答上帝：
“我如果把它摘下来，它马上就枯萎。即使我不摘它，它也迟早会枯。
所以我就在它还盛开的时候，住在它边上。等它雕谢的时候，再找下一朵。
这已经是我找著的第二朵最好看的花..”

这时，上帝告诉他：“你已经懂得生活的真谛了..”

 ===============================================================

结论：珍惜眼前人，事，物。。

Today My Life Begins =)

Today My Life Begins - Bruno Mars

I've been working hard so long
Seems like pain has been my only friend
My fragile heart's been done so wrong
I wondered if i'd ever heal again

* Ohh just like all the seasons never stay the same
  All around me i can feel a change (ohh)           

  I will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find me
  Leave the past behind me, today my life begins                                x2
 A whole new world is waiting it's mine for the taking
 I know i can make it, today my life begins

Yesterday has come and gone
And i've learn how to leave it where it is
And i see that i was wrong
For ever doubting i could win

Life's to short to have regrets
So i'm learning now to leave it in the past and try to forget
Only have one life to live
So you better make the best of it

I will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find me
Leave the past behind me, today my life begins
A whole new world is waiting it's mine for the taking
I know i can make it, today my life begins

=================================================================

One week is enough for all the sadness and emo-ness..

Time to get back on track..

Just leave the pains behind, although it's still hurts inside..

Gonna get myself focus on the studies..

For the paid off efforts will be worthwhile in the future..

There's a meaningful quote " Don't make someone as ur priority, when u are only the someone's option! "

It's sad but in fact it's true..

Never waste time for someone who does not have time for u,

Be with someone who will say, " Time is wasted if i'm not with u. " 

Being single somehow is good,

Like today i have got a free dessert from a very kind waiter,

Because i was having lunch alone there.

If there is a bf with me just now,

I don't think i would get this kind of advantage. *evil grins*

So yea think positively, there's always ways for God to lighten up ur days,

When He hasn't send u the special someone yet,

He will send u angels for the guardian together with small little gifts in life.

Cheers! ^-^

='(

Im missing u! very very much! 

Are u feeling the same way as i do? I guess not..

To prevent myself from telling u how do i feel for the whole day, i can only choose to write it down here.

From yesterday until now, i just can't stop myself from thinking of u n our conversation of the night..

I kept looking back at that conversation, n now i can memorize every single words of that already..

Tears keep on dropping throughout the whole day.. 

I can't focus on my work.. I don't feel like doing anything but keep thinking of us.. 

All those memories and every single corner of the house keep reminding me of ur presence.. 

How i wish i could wipe off everything.. Every single pieces of our memories are killing me slowly.. 

Im feeling so weak now, keep on crying.. Im not like me anymore..
I thought im always a tough girl and will be tough enough to face all these.. 
But the fact is that im just an ordinary girl who is helpless and feeling lost when comes to relationship.. I really don't like myself to be like this..

One thing to be glad is that ching doesn't notice any changes of me.. And i managed to keep my tears off when she is around.. =)

Day 1: nothing has done but keep dropping tears.. not doing good enough.. hopes tmr will has abit of improvement.. my life still goes on! gambateh!

Let time do its job!

When you really matter to someone,

that person will always make time for you.

No excuses, no lies, and no broken promises.

When he doesn't, 

it simply means that you are not that important,

and it's time to let go everything and move on. 

08.05.2011

It may be a time of new beginnings, 

a time of growth, 

a time of reaping the harvest of hard work, 

or a time of rest. 

Trust this beautiful order. 

Everything in its time. 

~ I really hope that there is a time and a season for everything.

Keep in mind =)

Some inspired thoughts that i wanna share.. 

~ Instead of thinking on what happened yesterday and what's gonna happen in the future, it's more important to focus on what's happening now and enjoy that moment in front of u! 

~ Always keep ur mind open about what u see before u get to the destination, as the destination may not be important. It's about the experiences along the journey and how it enriches u as a human being.

~ Life will make its turns and u just have to learn to go with the flow, and learn how to be ready for that, for every moment that changes in front of u.

Sighssss

Its been 2 days without any call, any message, any chatting.. 
Even when both of us are online.. 

I guess im the only gf who are patient enough to bear with these since i havent throw a fight with u yet.. >.<" 

Or maybe i should reconsider our relationship?? 
I may not know what do u want..

But i do realized something has changed or changing now.. 
Sigh i must have been cursed by someone.. Thats why all my love stories wont last for long =.=

Independence!

U should really learn to be independent! 

More independent! 

Bcuz at the end u gotta do all the things on ur own.. 

No one is gonna be there for u anytime whenever u need help..

Try not to rely on the others, not even ur partners..

As u would take things for granted as time goes by..

Its just not fair to that person..

Everyone has to face their own problems and solve the problems one by one, day by day..

Its ur responsibility to be responsible for ur own life!

So yea its better to solve the problem earlier on ur own, rather than ask for/ beg for help from ppl..

For problems and mistakes only makes ur grow stronger and gets wiser in the future,

So it would be fine to fall, as long as u would be standing up after each fall..

Randomness~

Because of the extremely hard video presentation for IT idiot like me..

Thus im forced to ask for someone's professional opinion to get my assignment done.. 

Okay la its more like the someone is gonna done all the hard work for me =P   (thats what i thought in the noon when i came to his house...)

But now its ady 4 o'clock in the morning.. 

N im all alone here stuck in his house, cuz my assignment still hasnt done, which is gonna due on the same day at 8pm >.<" 

Why am i all alone here?? 

Bcuz the someone is now watching football match with his buddies.. n left his lovely gf at home with her extremely important assignment hanging halfway undone T.T 

Wondering why guys love football march that much when they are ady tired in both mentally n physically, n yet they still must out for the matches @.@ 

Okay la im not complaining about him now.. 

Since he is doing his best to help me out with the video.. n so far the outcome of the video is quite nice.. 

Its just that im abit worried about the on-time submission of my assignment by tonight.. Hopefully im able to submit it on time, dont really wish to get my marks deducted due to the late submission, which is quite a waste if it happens. *keep my fingers crossed!*

God is always there for you to hold on

Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth.

Hold on to what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. 

Hold on to what you must do, even if it's a long way from here. 

Hold on to your faith, even if it's easier to let go. 

Most importantly, Hold on to God's hand. (^-*)

Keep dragging

Instead of doing my tonnes of work from college, I'm now sitting here updating my blog due to the lazy bugs that keep biting me =.="

Let's see what are awaiting me to do for the following days before the weekend ends:

(i) B&S assignment 1 that due on this sunday evening, 

(ii) D&S class test that covered 7 topics by next wednesday, 

(iii) MACRO assignment 1.2 that due on next tuesday.

Wow that's whole lots of work and efforts that required me to put into them.. And i HAVEN'T done ANY of it by now!! Yet I'm still got the spare time to update my blog.. Congrats to myself, I'm gonna die sooo soon! Yeahhhh started to go crazy already.......

Live for urself and not for the others!

Something that needs to keep in our mind all the time..

" Live for urself and not for the others! " No matter what they say or what they think, u just have to do whatever u think it's right and keep practicing our own principles for those principles bring no harm to the others... If people can't accept for who u are, and u can't make them to change their thinking, maybe all u can do is just stay cool, walk away and smile! After all, u are still beautiful =) 

Haunted mind..

It has been 2 months already, time flies!! I don't know how long can things last between us, since all the confusion are still haunting me... What's the confusion all about?? Actually me myself also not too sure about that... It's just the feeling of lacking "something" that keeps bothering me these days... I'm not sure whether it's the generation gap that lies between us or maybe it's just simply because we are not that into each others... 

From the start of this relationship, told myself to give it a try and I thought i would be okay to walk away if things doesn't work out for us... Until i couldn't bear with his ignorance and we argued. I finally realized that i had actually fallen deeper that i thought in this relationship... Been trying to make things right and hoping that it works.. I can see that we are getting closer to each others now after we talked... But again i don't know can this considered to be a good news for myself... If things turn out to be not fine by then, can i really walk away from it??